I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which wells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me.
READING 2 From St. Augustine’s Confessions, Book 8
Then, in that great struggle within my inner abode—which I had forcibly provoked with my soul in that little room of ours, my heart—being disturbed as much in my countenance as in my mind, I rush in upon Alypius and cry out: ‘What is wrong with us? What does this mean, this story you heard? Unlearned men are rising up and storming heaven, while we with our teachings which have no heart in them, here we are tumbling about in flesh and blood! Is it because they have led the way that we are ashamed to follow, yet are not ashamed of the fact that we are not following?’ I said some such words, and then my mental agitation tore me away from him; while he kept silent, terrified as he looked upon me. Not even my voice sounded as usual. Forehead, cheeks, eyes, complexion, the way I spoke, gave more indication of my mental condition than did the words I uttered. A little garden belonged to our residence, and we used it as we did the rest of the house, for our host, the landlord, did not live there. The tumult in my breast carried me out there, where no one could hinder the burning struggle which I had entered upon against myself; to what solution, Thou didst know, but I did not. Yet, my madness was healthful and my dying was life-giving; I was aware of the extent of my evil, but I was unaware of the extent of the good I would shortly attain. So, I withdrew to the garden, and Alypius followed in my footsteps. There was no lack of personal privacy for me when he was present. Moreover, how could he abandon me in such a frame of mind? We sat down as far away from the building as possible. I was shaken in spirit, angered by a most violent indignation at the fact that I did not enter into an agreement and covenant with Thee, O my God, for all my bones cried out that I should make this step, and extolled it to the heavens with praises. Entry into this agreement did not require boats or chariots or movement of the feet; I did not even have to go as far as we had gone from the house to the place where we were sitting. For, not merely to go, but actually to reach that disposition, meant nothing else than to wish to go—strongly and completely of course, not just a half-wounded wish, turning now to this and now to that, nor a will threshing about in a struggle wherein, when one part rises up, another part is cast down.
REFLECTION
St. Augustine experienced what St. Paul described as he struggled with interior disturbance in his heart. He described his heart as “that little room” and he wrestled there with shame and confusion over decisions that he had made. There was “tumult” in his breast as he pondered the “healthful madness” and “life-giving dying” he was undergoing in his shaken spirit. He was wrestling with the decision to be fully committed to the Lord, to become truly Christian. He knew that it did not require external things like boats and chariots, but only an interior movement—a strong and complete wish. St. Augustine gives us permission to admit our own interior struggles, especially in places where we have only half-heartedly committed to Christ or are holding out and holding on to our own forms of worldliness. As we empty our hearts, let us ask ourselves if there is anything we are holding on to that needs to be released and offered up to the Lord. Is there any way you are being asked to commit more whole-heartedly to the Lord in following Him?
Behold, we call those happy who were steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful. But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath, but let your yes be yes and your no be no, that you may not fall under condemnation. Is any one among you suffering? Let him pray. Is any cheerful? Let him sing praise.
READING2 From a sermon given during the last synod he attended, by Saint Charles, bishop
My brothers, you must realise that for us churchmen nothing is more necessary than meditation. We must meditate before, during and after everything we do. The prophet says: “I will pray, and then I will understand.” When you administer the sacraments, meditate on what you are doing. When you celebrate Mass, reflect on the sacrifice you are offering. When you pray the office, think about the words you are saying and the Lord to whom you are speaking. When you take care of your people, meditate on how the Lord’s blood that has washed them clean so that “all that you do becomes a work of love.”
This is the way we can easily overcome the countless difficulties we have to face day after day, which, after all, are part of our work: in meditation we find the strength to bring Christ to birth in ourselves and in other men.
REFLECTION
How is your meditation? The Catechism teaches, “To the extent that we are humble and faithful, we discover in meditation the movements that stir the heart and we are able to discern them” (CCC 2706). Paying attention to the movements that stir in our hearts when we attend Mass, pray the Liturgy of the Hours, minister to others, or otherwise fulfill the obligations of daily life, helps us to pay attention to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit throughout our day. The more attentive and responsive we are to these inspirations, the more our hearts are conformed to the Heart of Christ and the more the Holy Spirit is able to reproduce His life within us. Meditation also helps us to empty our hearts of all that interferes with this deepening union “to the point of rendering [us] wholly possessed by the divine Beloved, vibrating at the Spirit’s touch, resting filially within the Father’s heart.”11
O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor haughty my eyes. I have not gone after things too great, nor marvels beyond me. Truly, I have set my soul in tranquility and silence. Like a weaned child on its mother, as a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord, both now and forever.
READING 2 From a sermon given during the last synod he attended, by Saint Charles, bishop
I admit that we are all weak, but if we want help, the Lord God has given us the means to find it easily. One priest may wish to lead a good, holy life, as he knows he should. He may wish to be chaste and to reflect heavenly virtues in the way he lives. Yet he does not resolve to use suitable means, such as penance, prayer, the avoidance of evil discussions and harmful and dangerous friendships. Another priest complains that as soon as he comes into church to pray the office or to celebrate Mass, a thousand thoughts fill his mind and distract him from God. But what was he doing in the sacristy before he came out for the office or for Mass? How did he prepare? What means did he use to collect his thoughts and to remain recollected?
Would you like me to teach you how to grow from virtue to virtue and how, if you are already recollected at prayer, you can be even more attentive next time, and so give God more pleasing worship? Listen, and I will tell you. If a tiny spark of God’s love already burns within you, do not expose it to the wind, for it may get blown out. Keep the stove tightly shut so that it will not lose its heat and grow cold. In other words, avoid distractions as well as you can. Stay quiet with God. Do not spend your time in useless chatter.
REFLECTION
Jesus teaches us that unless we become like a child we cannot enter the Kingdom of God (cf. Matthew 18:1-5). The psalmist leads us in praying that our hearts not be proud, but that we learn to find rest, like a child in its mother’s arms. The preparation of our hearts for fulfilling our commitments is a daily challenge that we must take up with the proper means. We do well to ask ourselves, “Am I surrounding myself with good friends? Am I engaging in healthy conversations? Am I avoiding worldliness in entertainment? Am I guarding my evenings?” These are the ways that we can empty our hearts of noise and distractions so that we can protect the tiny spark of God’s love that burns in our hearts.
Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, My memory, my understanding And my entire will, All I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me. Amen.
LITANY OF PENANCE By Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us. Christ, graciously hear us. God the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us. God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us. God the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us. Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us. Incarnate Lord, have mercy on us. Lover of souls, have mercy on us. Saviour of sinners, have mercy on us. Who didst come to seek those that were lost, have mercy on us. Who didst fast for them forty days and nights, have mercy on us. By Thy tenderness towards Adam when he fell, have mercy on us. By Thy faithfulness to Noe in the ark, have mercy on us. By Thy remembrance of Lot in the midst of sinners, have mercy on us. By Thy mercy on the Israelites in the desert, have mercy on us. By Thy forgiveness of David after his confession, have mercy on us. By Thy patience with wicked Achab on his humiliation, have mercy on us. By Thy restoration of the penitent Manasses, have mercy on us. By Thy long suffering towards the Ninevites, when they went in sackcloth and ashes. Have mercy on us. By Thy blessing on the Maccabees, who fasted before the battle, have mercy on us. By Thy choice of John to go before Thee as the preacher of penance, have mercy on us. By Thy testimony to the Publican, who hung his head and smote his breast, have mercy on us. By Thy welcome given to the returning Prodigal, have mercy on us. By Thy gentleness with the woman of Samaria, have mercy on us. By Thy condescension towards Zacchaeus, persuading him to restitution, have mercy on us. By Thy pity upon the woman taken in adultery, have mercy on us. By Thy love of Magdalen, who loved much, have mercy on us. By Thy converting look, at which Peter wept, have mercy on us. By Thy gracious words to the thief upon the cross, have mercy on us. We sinners, Beseech Thee, hear us. That we may judge ourselves, and so escape Thy judgment, We beseech Thee, hear us. That we may bring forth worthy fruits of penance, We beseech Thee, hear us. That sin may not reign in our mortal bodies, We beseech Thee, hear us. That we may work out our salvation with fear and trembling, We beseech Thee, hear us. Son of God, We beseech Thee, hear us. Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, Spare us, O Lord. Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, Graciously hear us, O Lord. Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us. Christ, graciously hear us. O Lord, hear our prayer. And let our cry come unto Thee.
Let us pray:
Grant, we beseech Thee, O Lord, to Thy faithful, pardon and peace, that they may be cleansed from all their offenses, and also serve Thee with a quiet mind, through Christ our Lord. Amen.
PRAYER OF ABANDONMENT St. Charles de Foucauld
Father, I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you: I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures. I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands I commend my soul; I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands, without reserve, and with boundless confidence, for you are my Father.
LITANY OF TRUST Sisters of Life
From the belief that I have to earn Your love, deliver me, Jesus. From the fear that I am unlovable, deliver me, Jesus. From the false security that I have what it takes, deliver me, Jesus. From the fear that trusting You will leave me more destitute, deliver me, Jesus. From all suspicion of Your words and promises, deliver me, Jesus. From the rebellion against childlike dependency on You, deliver me, Jesus. From refusals and reluctances in accepting Your will, deliver me, Jesus. From anxiety about the future, deliver me, Jesus. From resentment or excessive preoccupation with the past, deliver me, Jesus. From restless self-seeking in the present moment, deliver me, Jesus. From disbelief in Your love and presence, deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of being asked to give more than I have, deliver me, Jesus. From the belief that my life has no meaning or worth, deliver me, Jesus. From the fear of what love demands, deliver me, Jesus. From discouragement, deliver me, Jesus. That You are continually holding me, sustaining me, loving me, Jesus, I trust in you. That Your love goes deeper than my sins and failings and transforms me, Jesus, I trust in you. That not knowing what tomorrow brings is an invitation to lean on You, Jesus, I trust in you. That You are with me in my suffering, Jesus, I trust in you. That my suffering, united to Your own, will bear fruit in this life and the next, Jesus, I trust in you. That You will not leave me orphan, that You are present in Your Church, Jesus, I trust in you. That Your plan is better than anything else, Jesus, I trust in you. That You always hear me and in Your goodness always respond to me, Jesus, I trust in you. That You give me the grace to accept forgiveness and to forgive others, Jesus, I trust in you. That You give me all the strength I need for what is asked, Jesus, I trust in you. That my life is a gift, Jesus, I trust in you. That You will teach me to trust You, Jesus, I trust in you. That You are my Lord and my God, Jesus, I trust in you. That I am Your beloved one, Jesus, I trust in you.
LITANY OF HEALING AND REPENTANCE IN THE EUCHARIST Fr. Boniface Hicks, O.S.B.
Jesus, I believe in you. Jesus, I believe in your Real Presence in the Eucharist. Jesus, I believe you are here with me. Jesus, I believe you are in my heart. Jesus, I believe in your love for me. Jesus, I believe your love is greater than every sin. Jesus, I believe your love is greater than all evil. Jesus, I believe your love can free me from my sin.
For the times I’ve felt abandoned, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love. For the times I’ve been betrayed, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been rejected, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been forgotten,Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been disappointed, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been let down by the Church, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been lonely, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been desperate, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been lost, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been dejected, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been used, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been neglected, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been starved for love, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve been deprived of affirmation, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve lost my way, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve gone astray, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love For the times I’ve made the wrong choice, Jesus, heal my heart with Your love
Whenever I feel unseen, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel ignored, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel unimportant, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel useless, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel alone, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel abandoned, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel like it would be better if I didn’t exist, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel misunderstood, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel used, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel forgotten, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel angry, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel anxious, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel depressed, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel envious, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel lustful, Jesus, come close to me. Whenever I feel afraid, Jesus, come close to me.
For the times I’ve used others, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve failed to see, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve hardened my heart to a person in need, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve failed to do the right thing, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve given in to peer pressure, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve lied when someone needed me to tell the truth, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve looked away when someone needed my help, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve closed my ears to the cries of the helpless, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve chosen comfort over courage, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve turned my back on someone who was hurting, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve ignored my feelings, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve silenced the cry of my heart, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I haven’t been Your mercy for others, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve invalidated my own feelings, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve believed the lies of others, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve repeated the lies of others, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve suppressed righteous anger, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve given up in despair, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve failed to share You with someone who needed You, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve wrongly hid my faith from others, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve misrepresented You in my words and actions, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve caused scandal by my words or actions, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve brought hatred instead of love, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve brought division instead of peace, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve brought gossip instead of charity, please forgive me, Jesus. For the times I’ve torn down when I could have built up, please forgive me, Jesus.
When I doubt the power of Your love, Jesus, help me to believe. When I doubt Your love for me, Jesus, help me to believe. When I struggle to trust, Jesus, help me to believe. When I doubt that I am worthy of love, Jesus, help me to believe. When I doubt that I have a place in anyone’s heart, Jesus, help me to believe. When I wonder if I am enough, Jesus, help me to believe. When I doubt I have what it takes, Jesus, help me to believe. When I feel helpless, Jesus, help me to believe. When I feel useless, Jesus, help me to believe. When I doubt that I have anything to offer, Jesus, help me to believe. When I doubt that I can make a change, Jesus, help me to believe. When I doubt that my efforts matter, Jesus, help me to believe. When I feel hopeless, Jesus, help me to believe. When I want to give up on my neighbor, Jesus, help me to believe. When I want to give up on my enemy, Jesus, help me to believe. When I want to give up on the Church, Jesus, help me to believe. When I want to give up on myself, Jesus, help me to believe. When I want to give up on You, Jesus, Jesus, help me to believe.
Jesus, I need You. Jesus, I trust in You. Jesus, I love You. V. Jesus, meek and humble of heart. R. Make my heart like unto Yours.
Let us pray. Lord Jesus Christ, You are the Good Shepherd who rescues the lost. You are the Divine Physician who heals the sick. You are the Savior Who washes away our sin in your Blood. You are the Beloved Son who shares your sonship with us along with the love of the Father. We know that even if we do not feel it, You will continue this work of healing in our hearts. We trust that You love us and desire our wholeness and flourishing. Fill each of our hearts as we worship You and receive You in all Your love in this Holy Eucharist. We make this prayer in Your Name, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.”
READING 2 From the encyclical Dilexit Nos, on the Sacred Heart of Jesus, by Pope Francis
The symbol of the heart has often been used to express the love of Jesus Christ. Some have questioned whether this symbol is still meaningful today. Yet living as we do in an age of superficiality, rushing frenetically from one thing to another without really knowing why, and ending up as insatiable consumers and slaves to the mechanisms of a market unconcerned about the deeper meaning of our lives, all of us need to rediscover the importance of the heart. This interior reality of each person is frequently concealed behind a great deal of “foliage”, which makes it difficult for us not only to understand ourselves, but even more to know others: “The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse, who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9). We can understand, then, the advice of the Book of Proverbs: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life; put away from you crooked speech” (Jer 4:23-24). Mere appearances, dishonesty and deception harm and pervert the heart. Despite our every attempt to appear as something we are not, our heart is the ultimate judge, not of what we show or hide from others, but of who we truly are. It is the basis for any sound life project; nothing worthwhile can be undertaken apart from the heart. False appearances and untruths ultimately leave us empty-handed.1
REFLECTION
Adam and Eve used fig leaves to hide themselves from God and from each other. They were ashamed because they were naked. Pope Francis observed that we continue to hide our interior lives, our hearts, behind a great deal of “foliage.” This “foliage” is composed of our psychological defenses, patterns of avoidance, distraction, compulsion. Our superficiality and freneticism are part of our efforts to protect ourselves, to reduce interior pain and to function in a world made harsh by sin. These are often unconscious and sometimes objectively sinful in themselves. Although we do well to look inside ourselves and to seek to understand ourselves, we often cannot truly see and understand why we do what we do. Part of the process of emptying our hearts is simply surrendering the mystery of what is inside of us to the Lord, asking Him to help us sort out our hidden motives and to heal us in His mercy. What is the foliage that keeps your heart noisy and crowded?
In the blur of activity, the noise of excessive media, the repeated bifurcation of our attention through communication technology, our hearts are quickly cluttered with the good, the bad and the ugly. The world is so much with us. Without losing the good, we set out for the first few days of our consecration to clean up the clutter, to order, transform and purge the bad and the ugly. The reflections and prayers during these days could be fruitfully combined with the asceticism of reducing technology use, regularly recollecting our hearts throughout each day, examining our hearts more thoroughly once or twice a day, and simply opening our hearts to God for Him to help us. In the days’ reflections, we consider the clutter caused by sin, the distractions of our inattentiveness, the importance of meditation, the grace of childlikeness, and the simplicity of heart that opens us to divine wisdom. Let us take these initial days as a time of transition as we slow things down and make room in our hearts for more of God.
Day 1: Emptying Our Hearts of the Noise of the World and Duplicity
READING 1 Genesis 3:7-10
Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.”
READING 2 From the encyclical Dilexit Nos, on the Sacred Heart of Jesus, by Pope Francis
The symbol of the heart has often been used to express the love of Jesus Christ. Some have questioned whether this symbol is still meaningful today. Yet living as we do in an age of superficiality, rushing frenetically from one thing to another without really knowing why, and ending up as insatiable consumers and slaves to the mechanisms of a market unconcerned about the deeper meaning of our lives, all of us need to rediscover the importance of the heart. This interior reality of each person is frequently concealed behind a great deal of “foliage”, which makes it difficult for us not only to understand ourselves, but even more to know others: “The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse, who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9). We can understand, then, the advice of the Book of Proverbs: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life; put away from you crooked speech” (Jer 4:23-24). Mere appearances, dishonesty and deception harm and pervert the heart. Despite our every attempt to appear as something we are not, our heart is the ultimate judge, not of what we show or hide from others, but of who we truly are. It is the basis for any sound life project; nothing worthwhile can be undertaken apart from the heart. False appearances and untruths ultimately leave us empty-handed.1
REFLECTION
Adam and Eve used fig leaves to hide themselves from God and from each other. They were ashamed because they were naked. Pope Francis observed that we continue to hide our interior lives, our hearts, behind a great deal of “foliage.” This “foliage” is composed of our psychological defenses, patterns of avoidance, distraction, compulsion. Our superficiality and freneticism are part of our efforts to protect ourselves, to reduce interior pain and to function in a world made harsh by sin. These are often unconscious and sometimes objectively sinful in themselves. Although we do well to look inside ourselves and to seek to understand ourselves, we often cannot truly see and understand why we do what we do. Part of the process of emptying our hearts is simply surrendering the mystery of what is inside of us to the Lord, asking Him to help us sort out our hidden motives and to heal us in His mercy. What is the foliage that keeps your heart noisy and crowded?
The United States bishops are consecrating our country to the Sacred Heart of Jesus on June 11, 2026. The choice of this year is in commemoration of the 250th anniversary of the founding of our nation. There are resources available for the day of consecration on the USCCB website: https://www.usccb.org/weholdthesetruths
For those who would like to prepare their hearts for this consecration, I have compiled a 33-day preparation that takes us through the hearts of Joseph and Mary to help us arrive at the Heart of Jesus. This preparation consists of daily readings from scripture and from spiritual authors, along with some prayers to help you return to your own heart and then consecrate your heart to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus through the hearts of Joseph and Mary.
This preparation was inaugurated by the seminarians, faculty and administration of St. Vincent Seminary in Latrobe, PA on the eve of the feast of St. Joseph the Worker (April 30, 2026). Immediately after the Seminary was consecrated, there was a profound sign of divine favor in the form of a magnificent rainbow.
By starting the consecration on May 9, you will conclude on the day that the bishops consecrate the country to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. Please subscribe to this blog to receive the readings and prayers each day. Don’t worry if you join a day or two late. It’s easy to catch up!
Happy Easter! Following our monastic community’s celebration of the Easter Vigil last night I had the strong feeling that now all the restrictions should be lifted just as the Lenten fast had now come to an end. It is such a strange and sad experience to face the reality that the corona virus does not obey the liturgical calendar. Sadly, in our isolation, this unusually strict Lent continues even as Easter Alleluia’s ring out. The Good Friday-like separation from the Sacraments persists even though we proclaim that the Lord is risen.
At the same time, we try to celebrate the coming of the light into the darkness in the ways that we can. We can remember that the Apostles also remained “quarantined” as they huddled in the upper room for fear. Even after they encountered the Risen Lord, it was 50 days before they fully emerged and proclaimed the Resurrection. We can pray that our isolation ends even before 50 days and that we are able not only to return to normal activities but also to take up anew the call to proclaim the Risen Lord.
We have learned new ways of reaching out during this time of quarantine. So many creative expressions of charity and innovative ways of proclaiming Christ have emerged from the restrictions imposed on us. So many churches are broadcasting the liturgy through the internet. May they continue to reach many who are curious and questioning as well as those unable to attend physically even after the quarantine ends.
Through the Institute for Ministry Formation at Saint Vincent Seminary we hosted our first Virtual Triduum Retreat and gathered hundreds of people from around the country via Zoom video conferencing. Many of the participants said it was the most prayerful Triduum they have ever celebrated and would like to do it again next year. We could see so many faces and we had small groups in breakout rooms. There was a sense of closeness and community that honestly surprised me and exceeded my hopes. We have the recorded conferences and personal testimonies available for anyone who would like to listen and be stirred in faith by our wonderful speakers.
Pope Francis in his Urbi et Orbi message for 2020 challenged us to overcome self-centeredness, indifference and division during this time. May we try to respond to his call as we find ways to unite in charity and become docile to the movement of the Holy Spirit in each of our hearts. Once again, a heartfelt Happy Easter to you! Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!
“Banish therefore from your heart the distractions of earth and turn your eyes to spiritual joys, that you may learn to rest in the light of the contemplation of God”
– St Albert the Great
“We must pray without tiring … For the salvation of mankind does not depend upon material success but on Jesus alone”
-St Frances Cabrini
“In all created things discern the providence and wisdom of God, and in all things give Him thanks.”
-St. Teresa of Avila
“Remember the past with gratitude. Live the present with enthusiasm. Look forward to the future with confidence.”
– St. John Paul II
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Man’s Deeper Questionings
The world of today reveals itself as at once powerful and weak, capable of achieving the best or the worst. There lies open before it the way to freedom or slavery, progress or regression, brotherhood or hatred. In addition, man is becoming aware that it is for himself to give the right direction to forces that he himself has awakened, forces that can be his master or his servant. He therefore puts questions to himself.
The tensions disturbing the world of today are in fact related to a more fundamental tension rooted in the human heart. In man himself many elements are in conflict with each other. On one side, he has experience of his many limitations as a creature. On the other, he knows that there is no limit to his aspirations, and that he is called to a higher kind of life.
Many things compete for his attention, but he is always compelled to make a choice among them, and to renounce some. What is more, in his weakness and sinfulness he often does what he does not want to do, and fails to do what he would like to do. In consequence, he suffers from a conflict within himself, and this in turn gives rise to so many great tensions in society.
Very many people, infected as they are with a materialistic way of life, cannot see this dramatic state of affairs in all its clarity, or at least are prevented from giving thought to it because of the unhappiness that they themselves experience.
Many think that they can find peace in the different philosophies that are proposed.
Some look for complete and genuine liberation for man from man’s efforts alone. They are convinced that the coming kingdom of man on earth will satisfy all the desires of his heart.
There are those who despair of finding any meaning in life: they commend the boldness of those who deny all significance to human existence in itself, and seek to impose a total meaning on it only from within themselves.
But in the face of the way the world is developing today, there is an ever increasing number of people who are asking the most fundamental questions or are seeing them with a keener awareness: What is man? What is the meaning of pain, of evil, of death, which still persist in spite of such great progress? What is the use of those successes, achieved at such a cost? What can man contribute to society, what can he expect from society? What will come after this life on earth?
The Church believes that Christ died and rose for all, and can give man light and strength through his Spirit to fulfil his highest calling; his is the only name under heaven in which men can be saved.
So too the Church believes that the centre and goal of all human history is found in her Lord and Master.
The Church also affirms that underlying all changes there are many things that do not change; they have their ultimate foundation in Christ, who is the same yesterday, today and for ever.
Taken from the Second Vatican Council’s “Gaudium et spes” . on the Church in the modern world
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From a homily by Saint Asterius of Amasea
You were made in the image of God. If then you wish to resemble him, follow his example. Since the very name you bear as Christians is a profession of love for men, imitate the love of Christ.
Reflect for a moment on the wealth of his kindness. Before he came as a man to be among men, he sent John the Baptist to preach repentance and lead men to practise it. John himself was preceded by the prophets, who were to teach the people to repent, to return to God and to amend their lives. Then Christ came himself, and with his own lips cried out: Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest.
How did he receive those who listened to his call? He readily forgave them their sins; he freed them instantly from all that troubled them. The Word made them holy; the Spirit set his seal on them. The old Adam was buried in the waters of baptism; the new man was reborn to the vigour of grace. What was the result? Those who had been God’s enemies became his friends, those estranged from him became his sons, those who did not know him came to worship and love him.
Let us then be shepherds like the Lord. We must meditate on the Gospel, and as we see in this mirror the example of zeal and loving kindness, we should become thoroughly schooled in these virtues.
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Christ, the model of brotherly love
by Saint Aelred, abbot
The perfection of brotherly love lies in the love of one’s enemies. We can find no greater inspiration for this than grateful remembrance of the wonderful patience of Christ. He who is more fair than all the sons of men offered his fair face to be spat upon by sinful men; he allowed those eyes that rule the universe to be blindfolded by wicked men; he bared his back to the scourges; he submitted that head which strikes terror in principalities and powers to the sharpness of the thorns; he gave himself up to be mocked and reviled, and at the end endured the cross, the nails, the lance, the gall, the vinegar, remaining always gentle, meek and full of peace.
In short, he was led like a sheep to the slaughter, and like a lamb before the shearers he kept silent, and did not open his mouth.
Who could listen to that wonderful prayer, so full of warmth, of love, of unshakeable serenity – Father, forgive them – and hesitate to embrace his enemies with overflowing love? Father, he says, forgive them. Is any gentleness, any love, lacking in this prayer?
Yet he put into it something more. It was not enough to pray for them: he wanted also to make excuses for them. Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. They are great sinners, yes, but they have little judgement; therefore, Father, forgive them. They are nailing me to the cross, but they do not know who it is that they are nailing to the cross: if they had known, they would never have crucified the Lord of glory; therefore, Father, forgive them. They think it is a lawbreaker, an impostor claiming to be God, a seducer of the people. I have hidden my face from them, and they do not recognise my glory; therefore, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.
If someone wishes to love himself he must not allow himself to be corrupted by indulging his sinful nature. If he wishes to resist the promptings of his sinful nature he must enlarge the whole horizon of his love to contemplate the loving gentleness of the humanity of the Lord. Further, if he wishes to savour the joy of brotherly love with greater perfection and delight, he must extend even to his enemies the embrace of true love.
But if he wishes to prevent this fire of divine love from growing cold because of injuries received, let him keep the eyes of his soul always fixed on the serene patience of his beloved Lord and Saviour.
From Conversion to Vocation My Calling to be a Benedictine
By Fr. Boniface Hicks OSB
A principal theme in my own faith journey is that God writes straight with crooked lines. A more eloquent way to say it would be that every calling is as unique as each individual. Another important interpretive tool is knowing that life is lived forward and understood backward. With these points in mind, I can say that I believe whole-heartedly that my life as a Benedictine monk is exactly where God wants me to be. At the same time, I can say that the more I live out this vocation the more I understand why this is where He wants me.
I was raised in a very loving and moral home, but without any religious practice. The influences of society and public education steadily led me to a scientific atheist mindset that was fortunately not well fortified. It was slowly whittled down by the witness of friends in college who were in the honors program and scientific disciplines but also attended Mass regularly. Then the real journey began for me when an evangelical man came up to me on my college campus and invited me to study the Bible with him one on one. He was a total stranger to me and, to be honest I was quite disinterested and dismissive of him in my thoughts, but when he finally asked me, after a lengthy introduction, whether I would meet with him for a Bible study, I agreed. He was a real believer and the humble, authentic witness of his relationship with God delivered the Truth through my defenses. After nine months of meetings we covered the book of Genesis through the story of Abraham before moving to the Gospel of John. After I read the Prologue of John I became a Christian. I believed that God was real and the Bible was true and I started going to Mass on Sundays.
Six months later I went to Germany for a study abroad. By that time I was meeting daily for Bible study and my life was slowly transformed as I took in the Word of God and that Word brought deeper peace to my heart. Our daily Bible study was structured like a shared lectio divina with a short reading from a passage, time for personal reflection, which we wrote down and then read to each other, and then a time of spontaneous, vocal prayer. I was receiving a lot from the Word and from these wholesome, upbuilding times of shared prayer. There was still some resistance in me, however, that emerged and I planned my trip to Germany. I thought of taking a break from all the Christian stuff I was doing, growing my hair out again, and taking advantage of the lower legal age for alcohol consumption. The man I was studying the Bible with was praying for me, however, and with some divine inspiration he said to me one morning that he wanted to send me to Germany as a missionary. I was concerned and a little afraid of that idea, but I surrendered, trusted and prayed about it. My experience in Germany was life-changing and set the stage for my vocation.
I still had some resistance when I got on the plane and formulated the thought that if God wanted me to be a missionary He could let me know. When I landed on a Saturday morning, I was met by some evangelicals from the same Bible study movement as I had been part of. I understood that they were going to take me to the train so I could continue on my way to the University in Marburg. Instead they took me to their home, fed me and visited with me. When I finally intervened and asked about getting to the train, they decided to call the University first to make sure someone would be there to meet me, but no one answered. They urged me to stay with them for the weekend lest I be stuck in a hotel in Marburg. After reluctantly agreeing, they asked if I would be willing to give my life testimony at their worship service the next day. Again I agreed reluctantly and so my second day in Germany I gave witness to God’s work in my life, in German, at a worship service. After the initial shock wore off from the unexpected change in plans, I had a beautiful weekend. God had averted my plans to drift from my Christian faith.
The real breakthrough came a few weeks later, however. After an initial language course that was easy for me, I began taking German graduate-level classes in Math and Computer Science. I was overwhelmed by school for the first time in my life. For the first time in my life I turned to God out of my weakness. I prayed for help. He intervened in miraculous ways and provided for my needs. In the wake of that, something happened one morning during my prayer time. I suddenly felt that He was close to me. A felt peace and a presence and the rest of the world became very distant. I realized that I could talk to Him and also listen for Him in my heart. The thoughts that came to me had a strangely different quality as they emerged from an interior quiet that was tangibly different from my normal experience. I felt profound love and reassurance. I was also challenged as I asked Him if there was anything in my life I needed to change. Even then, however, I knew I could tell Him that I wouldn’t be able to change that on my own and I would need His help. After that experience, I started turning to God for the smallest things—from asking which way to walk to class that day to asking which meat I should buy for dinner.
Immediately after this initial encounter with God in prayer, I realized how amazing it was that I could have such a personal relationship with Him and I spontaneously thought that it would be worth dedicating my life to sharing this gift with others. That was the kernel of my vocation—the desire to share the gift of prayer.
The Growth of a Vocation
The kernel of my vocation was in my initial experience of a personal encounter with God in prayer. In retrospect I can apply the teaching of St. Ignatius of Loyola to that experience and say that it was my first experience of spiritual consolation. In the experience of inner quiet and the presence of God that lifted me above every created thing, I was able to hear truth in my heart that I trusted and followed. In the weeks that followed that initial experience, I explored the contours of my inner experience of God, trying to understand what was necessary to be sure it was God speaking to me through the veil of faith. When I finally discovered the teaching of St. Ignatius many years later, it perfectly described what I had been trying to grasp in those initial weeks of my experience of God in prayer while I was studying in Germany.
During that grace-filled time of my life, I developed a real desire to dedicate my life to sharing the gift of prayer. So early in my Christian journey, I did not have adequate categories or concepts to work with, however. After all, I was not even baptized yet. My initial thought was to become a priest, because I knew priests dedicated their lives to sharing prayer. To demonstrate how strong my conviction was, I was not deterred in the least by the sacrifices that would entail. That felt very secondary to me at that point.
When I returned from Germany, however, my prayer life diminished. Combined with some moral lapses and the busyness of my last year of college pushed my vocation farther from my mind. In retrospect when I look at that period in my life I feel the ache of the words of Jesus in the Book of Revelation, “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first” (Rev 2:4-5). The good news is that I started RCIA at that time and began my formal journey into the Catholic Church. I had also continued with Bible study was becoming more involved in the evangelical group that promoted those one-on-one Bible studies.
Fortunately, various factors led to a renewal of my vocation. One of those factors was when the two paths I had been walking in parallel finally turned into a crossroads. My Christian journey had begun and developed through a Bible study with an evangelical group at Penn State. My religious practice had developed through attending Catholic Mass and preparing to receive the Sacraments of initiation. On the morning of Holy Thursday, after several attempts to help me see that I could not continue on these two paths in parallel indefinitely, the man I was studying the Bible with helped me to see that if I was planning to be baptized Catholic, I needed to commit myself to ministry in the Catholic Church. Otherwise I could continue with ministry in the Bible fellowship.
I did not want to break from either path. I was driven to my knees and spent the day in prayer. At one point, while I was praying before the Lord in the Tabernacle, I asked Him what I should do and I saw the flame of the sanctuary lamp flare up slightly. The words that came with it were, “I want you to fan the flame of my Church.” From that point, things fell into place as I started to discover that attending Mass for two years without receiving Communion had developed quite a hunger in me for the Sacraments. So, on Holy Thursday, two days before receiving the Sacraments of initiation, I made a decision in my heart to give my life to God for service in the Catholic Church, whatever that might look like.
The campus minister, who was a Benedictine priest from Saint Vincent Archabbey, invited me to join him and some other students on the weekend after Easter for a vocation retreat at the Archabbey. I had no idea what a monk was, but the stereotype in my mind made me dismiss the idea of a monastic vocation, because I felt so drawn to share faith with people, not just to hide away and pray. At the same time, I thought a weekend retreat would be fulfilling and I am always open to learn. In fact, it turned out to be a profound experience.
